dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
