He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
