I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
