Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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