What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
