That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
