did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
