You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
