I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
