Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
