I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
