never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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