so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Randomize
