He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Farmville is her only friend.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
