There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
