fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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