I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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