I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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