Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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