The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
