He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just cropdusted the office
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
