Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
