I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
