I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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