thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
