hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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