doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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