Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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