my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
