i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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