if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
