with your own penis?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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