Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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