i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
