Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We had sex on a dog bed..
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
