So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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