ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
