I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
