cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize
