Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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