somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We were destined to go to rehab together
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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