Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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