Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
