I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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