are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
