hell yes lets make some ravioli
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
