Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
