It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
