I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
