dude i'm inner monologue high
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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