How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
