Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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