I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
