cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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