I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
