I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
